


I’m looking for something {I’ve already found it}

by Realynn8



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Valentine's Day, fic spands over years, from a rocky start to a solid friendship to love, other characters are included but have minor roles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3364694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Realynn8/pseuds/Realynn8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was one holiday Bellamy hated, it was Valentine's Day. Strangely enough, he wasn't the only one who felt like that. Clarke, one of his best friends, if not the best friend, felt the same. And so they made a pact - they would always spend Valentine's Day together and mock it with all they had. And maybe slowly fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m looking for something {I’ve already found it}

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Bellarke Secret Valentine.

If there was one holiday Bellamy hated, it was Valentine's Day. It forced you to buy stupid overpriced gifts for the girl you’ve been dating, and if you didn’t get her anything, you were an asshole. But he would rather be an asshole than give in to the man, so he had decided years ago to never celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Strangely enough, he wasn’t the only one who felt like that. Clarke, one of his best friends, if not the best friend, felt the same. She always complained about it, which took him by surprise because she was, well a girl, but he should have known better, because this _was_ Clarke. And so years ago, they had made a pact and every year they’ve followed through. They would always spend Valentine’s Day together; making homemade pizza and watching the most non-romantic movies they could get their hands on. No matter if either of them was dating, come hell or high water, they’d spend Valentine’s together.

 

*** June, 2008

 

Bellamy had been in a particularly bad mood the day he met Clarke. She came over on a Saturday to study with Octavia but Octavia had run to the store to get some snacks and Bellamy was still in bed. He had come home late the previous night after finishing a hellish-Friday-night shift in the bar he worked at the time in order to be able to support himself and Octavia.

He heard knocking and it just wouldn’t stop. He put on some pants and dragged himself to the door. When he opened it, there was a girl standing in front of him, in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt and the biggest, brightest smile he had ever seen - too bright for that early (it was _only_ eleven a.m).

Clarke’s smile disappeared from her face when she saw he was shirtless, tan and just the right amount of muscled. Her gaze dropped and her stalled. She blushed.

“Can I help you?” Bellamy said annoyed, but Clarke didn’t seem to hear him.

“Hello,” he said, placing one hand on the doorframe, leaning forward. “Cat got your tongue?”

That shook Clarke out of her gaze, she took a deep breath, and a wave of embarrassment heated her face.

“Sorry, I’m here for Octavia,” she said and Bellamy was surprised by her voice. It was firm and deep, not the kind of voice he was expecting to hear from a girl that looked like her. That should have been the first clue that she was nothing like he thought.

“She’s not here,” said Bellamy.

“Oh, that’s weird.” Clarke was confused.

“What can you do, right? Run along now, kid,” he said and went to close the door.

“I’m not a kid, I’m seventeen,” Clarke protested, wanting to smack the smirk off his face. She wasn’t sure why but he annoyed the hell out of her. It wasn’t even what he said, it was the way he said it.

“Whatever you say,” he mocked her, “you look no older than fifteen.”

“And you’re a dick. Luckily I’m not here for you, but I do have plans with Octavia, so can I wait for her?” Clarke asked, although she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but here with _him_.

Bellamy smirked. “Whatever you want, princess, just don’t expect me to keep you company.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” she snapped back, annoyed with his behavior. “Geez, what crawled up your ass?”

Bellamy soon found out that Clarke was stubborn and opinionated and that of course bugged the hell out of him and he _just_ had to remind her of that every time they met, which resulted in them fighting. After a while, he realized he was always looking forward to their fights and teasing, not that he would ever tell anyone that.

 

*** 31st October, 2008

 

The first months had been a bit rocky, but as it turned out their minds worked similarly and they often reluctantly shared an opinion. After Bellamy got over his thinking of her only being a spoiled rich girl that got everything handed to her on a silver platter and Clarke started seeing behind his mask and noticed he was sacrificing an awful lot so Octavia would have an as normal life as possible, she started to respect him much more. Not that either of them would admit it, of course, but baby steps.

There was a Halloween party in the middle of the week and Clarke couldn’t go because she had to work early the next day, but Octavia pleaded and pleaded. To be completely honest, Clarke didn’t really want to go because the people throwing the party were a bunch of jerks. Octavia looked disappointed but in the end she gave in.

Later that week she was woken up in the middle on the night by her cellphone ringing loudly. Clarke groaned and willed it to stop but it didn’t. She got worried then, but her mom and dad checked in with her in the evening, so they should be okay at the conference they were attending. (At least she hoped.)

She grabbed the phone and answered it, not checking who was calling.

“Hello,” she murmured.

“Clarke, what the hell?!” Bellamy yelled at her. “What were you thinking?”

“What are you talking about? You’re making no sense. And why are you calling me in the middle of the night just to yell at me? Are you drunk?” Clarke sobered quickly. She was used to him yelling, but not like this.

“I just got a call from the police, Clarke. The police! And they told me Octavia has been picked up from a party, drunk as a skunk,” the words flew out of Bellamy’s mouth and she could hear the concern hidden behind the anger.

“What?” Clarke said.

“She told me she was spending the night at your place. Why would you do this?” Bellamy accused her.

“What are you talking about? I’m hearing this for the first time.” Clarke knew teenagers did things like that, but she would never do it because she knew Bellamy and how worried he was for Octavia all the time. She had a rebellious streak in her but not one like this.

The other side of the line had gone quiet. “Come pick me up, we’ll go get her together,” Clarke said.

He arrived about 10 minutes later and she got in the car. “Thank you,” he said. 

Clarke knew he could do this on his own, it wasn’t even such of a big deal, but she wanted to be there for him then.

After that night, things changed.

 

*** February, 2009

 

Bellamy often thought it was ridiculous because she was younger and a friend, but she’d bust into the room like the sun, with a force so strong it’d kick you on your ass, and he learned it was much easier to accept it than fight it. She was his sister’s best friend, but she also spent a lot of time with Bellamy. They formed some kind of easy friendship with a lot of teasing and bickering and neither was really sure how they got there, but they had and now they were friends.

About two years after meeting her, he found out about her aversion to Valentine’s Day. He was picking her and O up from shopping and his sister was going on about the gift she has gotten for Atom, her then boyfriend, and Clarke was scrunching her nose adorably.

“What?” he asked her when she was looking at the gift Octavia bought with disdain.

“Nothing, I just don’t see why Valentine’s Day is such a big deal,” Clarke confessed.

“Cause people want to make money and everything is about money these days,” Bellamy said dryly.

“It’s a stupid holiday. You’re supposed to let your significant other know how you feel all the time. And get them gifts when you feel like it and not because a stupid holiday says so.” Clarke was annoyed.

“So you don’t celebrate it?” Bellamy asked her.

“Over my dead body,” answered Clarke. In that moment Bellamy’s heart warmed up and he decided Clarke was pretty close to perfect. “What about you?”

Bellamy snorted. “I’m with you on this one,” he said and Clarke smiled.

And so they made a pact, and every year no matter who Bellamy was sleeping with – he never did relationships – or whom Clarke was dating – Bellamy hated Finn – they would spent the day together and mock the holiday with all they had.

 

*** February, 2010

 

The next year Octavia had a date, Clarke refused to go out or do _anything_ and everybody knew by then Bellamy was the last person to do Valentine’s Day.

Clarke wasn’t sure if Bellamy even remembered the pact they had made almost a year ago, but she went to the store anyway, bought a bunch of drinks and ingredients for pizza and then drove to his place. She rang the bell and Bellamy opened the door. Every time that happened Clarke’s mind flashed back to the first time she’d met him.

With grocery bags in both her hands, Bellamy took them from her. “I didn’t know if we’re still doing this, since we haven’t talked about it,” Clarke said.

“We made a deal,” he shrugged and that was that.

She went inside, Bellamy put on a movie on a small TV in the kitchen and they set to work. He made the dough while Clarke prepared the toppings. Pizza was best made from scratch and while she was better in the kitchen than Bellamy was, he made the best dough. _Must have had something to do with those fingers._ Clarke shook herself out of her daze and went to grate the cheese.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do come fall?” asked Bellamy and Clarke knew exactly what he meant. She has been applying to different colleges, unsure if she wanted to pursue medicine _or_ art.

Clarke just shook her head. “You?” she asked.

“Well, since Octavia has got a full ride and will be living in the college dorm, I’ve been thinking of moving to the city too.” Bellamy said.

Clarke knew Octavia wanted to become a paramedic. Despite her rebel ways and wild days, she has been a really good student and worked hard to get where she was.

“You want to stay close to her,” Clarke said, understanding. Bellamy still worked at the bar and he was doing well, but more often than not Clarke wondered what he really wanted to do.

They finished the pizza and put it in the oven when he turned and said, “I’ve applied to the Academy.” He was nervous, “That is if I get it. It’s going be a lot of work and I’ll have to work to be able to afford it, but I’ve been thinking of selling this house and moving to an apartment, maybe get a roommate, that would be easier …”

He was still rambling when Clarke hugged him and the pressure on his soul disappeared, so he pulled her closer. “I’m so proud of you,” Clarke said, emotionally. “You’re gonna be a great cop.”

Bellamy chuckled, “I’m gonna rock that uniform.”

“That you will,” Clarke rolled her eyes and blushed a little (don’t blame her, blame the image of Bellamy in a uniform). He deserved this so much. Everything he had he always gave to Octavia. This was what he needed, this was what he deserved. She was proud.

They watched a few movies, the pizza was a success and Clarke nestled into Bellamy’s side and fell asleep before the credits started to roll.

In the end, she decided on medical school. And come fall she was roommates with Octavia and Bellamy moved in with Nathan Miller who was a few years younger than Bellamy, both of them starting the Academy.

 

*** February, 2011

 

Clarke was busy with med school and Bellamy was working his ass off at the Academy and at a bar. He was in luck because the owner of the bar, Wick, was a friend of his, so it always worked out where his schedule wouldn’t end up interrupting his studies.

Octavia was doing well. She had a new boyfriend, Lincoln, this year and Bellamy wasn’t the greatest fan. To be honest, he wasn’t a fan at all. Lincoln was older, a bit of a bad boy but he seemed to really like Octavia. He was very protective of his tiny human, as he lovingly called her and that was the one thing Bellamy and he both agreed on.

Since the dorm was often loud and there was always some kind of a party going on, Clarke more often than not stayed at Bellamy’s and studied there. Sometimes Octavia was there, other times it was just her.

Bellamy studied quite a lot himself and when the exam period came around, he was stressed and nervous. She spent more time at his place then, quizzing him and Nate, making sure they had enough to eat and something to wear. For a person who always took care of his sister, Bellamy did a poor job taking care of himself.

He was sitting on the couch, books spread in front of him. Clarke was making coffee in the kitchen, putting away the groceries she had bought earlier. She filled two cups with steaming hot liquid and took them to the living room, wordlessly handing one to Bellamy.

“Thank you,” he said. His eyes were tired, his hair was ruffled and he needed a shower.

“You’re worrying over nothing,” said Clarke, sitting down next to him, “you can pass this test in your sleep.”

“I don’t do well with tests; the physical was easy but this,” he glanced down at his books, “not so much. Something just happens and I blank out.” He ran his hands through his hair.

“When that happens, just close your eyes, take a few deep breaths. Think of something else for a minute, clear your mind, then count to ten and focus. You’ve got this.” Clarke always used this technique when it happened to her and it worked.

A few minutes later, Bellamy asked. “Where is Nate?” It was weird he wasn’t home with the test being only a few days away.

“Out with Harper,” Clarke said. She knew he had forgotten what day it was, but that was okay. She did the shopping, and they’d do the rest.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing his hands and pulling him up.

“Where are we going?” Bellamy asked amused.

“Kitchen. You owe me some dough.” Clarke smiled as recognition flared in his eyes.

“I guess I do.” He chuckled and let her lead him into the kitchen.

Bellamy passed his test with flying colors. Clarke’s technique had helped.

 

*** February, 2012

 

The group became bigger. Jasper and Monty joined them – Octavia had met them on one of her coffee breaks and they had hit it off right away. Jasper had a little crush on Octavia at first, but then he realized it would never really happen. Basically, he has been fascinated with all things Blake. Even though Bellamy had tried to shake him off, Jasper worshipped the ground he walked on. Nate thought it was cute, and Clarke teased him mercilessly about it. Until Monty started doing the same to her, she shut up then.

When November rolled around, Bellamy and Octavia were at his place. Nate has been staying with Harper more often than not but that didn’t bother Bellamy at all – as long as he still paid rent. They were sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee, when Clarke burst through the door – she had a key – her eyes swollen and blood red. She was crying and hiccupping. Bellamy and Octavia both stood up, alarmed, knowing immediately something was seriously wrong. Clarke never cried.

Bellamy wanted to take a step forward but was unsure what the best course of action was but then she moved and basically ran into his arms. She cried silent tears and his heart broke for her, with her. They slid to the floor and Octavia knelt next to them, eyeing Bellamy worried.

“Clarke, honey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

Clarke buried her face into Bellamy’s shirt and her whole body shook. “He’s dead,” she managed to get out. “My dad’s dead.”

Bellamy’s grip tightened on her and he ran his hand soothingly through her hair. Octavia had tears in her eyes and she sat down next to them, taking Clarke’s hand into her own.

They found out later Clarke’s dad, Jake, had been in a car accident. He hadn’t been feeling well, but Abby persuaded him to run to the store and he lost consciousness and crashed. He died instantly.

Clarke was a mess for some time and for a while they all worried about her. They took shifts looking after her and just being there for her. But after a while she picked herself up and threw herself into her studies.

She spent Christmas with Bell and Octavia, ignoring her mother completely.

When Valentine’s Day came around, Bellamy didn’t know what to do, but he got into his car, went shopping and picked her up.

She answered the door in pink PJs. Bellamy laughed at her, “What the hell are you wearing? It looks like pink threw up all over you.” Clarke didn’t even like pink.

“Shut up,” she smiled. “Octavia got them for me.”

“Well, come on then,” he didn’t give her time to change, just took her with him. She tried to complain but he was firm. It was their tradition and that was that.

Bellamy realized he was in love with Clarke that year. He knew when she was mourning her dad because he wanted to take her pain and make it his. He wanted to carry the burden with her, for her. He knew, however, that Clarke didn’t feel the same and it was sad, but he was strangely okay with it, even though it was torture. He learned that he loved her enough for them both and _maybe_ one day he’d fall out of love with her. Until then he’d cherish her from a distance and love her in silence.

 

*** February, 2013

 

It turned out Bellamy didn’t fall out of love with Clarke. And she was still in the dark about it. He slept around and tried to get her out of his system, but it never worked. He just felt annoyed with himself and the world after it. He had tried to put some distance between them but when Clarke noticed and he saw how torn up she’d been about it, he decided it wasn’t fair to her. This mess wasn’t her fault and he was an idiot for trying to punish her for it.

So, they fell back into their friendship and Bellamy loved her too much to lose her. However, it almost broke him, when she started dating Finn. Because Finn got to do all the things Bellamy desperately wanted to but was not allowed. He got to wake up next to her, he got to hold her hand, kiss her, touch her, above all Finn could tell her how he felt and he knew what it meant to be loved by Clarke.

Finn was new in town, transferred from god knows where and charmed his way into Clarke’s pants. Bellamy hated him on principle. He was too friendly with girls and had a know-it-all attitude, but yet Clarke was over the moon for him.

Finn was jealous of Clarke spending time with Bellamy yet she stood firm on that and Bellamy was proud and smirked at Finn whenever he had the opportunity to do so. He died a little on the inside every time he saw them together though and it was Finn’s turn to smirk.

When Valentine’s Day came around that year, Clarke and Finn had a big fight. Finn wanted to take her out, to dinner and a movie, but Clarke wouldn’t have any of it and he didn’t understand. When he found out she was spending the day with Bellamy, it only made things worse. They hadn’t talked to each other in a few days, but when Clarke arrived at Bellamy’s, she had a small smile on her face and everything was alright in Bellamy’s world.

They decided to stay off the topic about Finn. They never talked about him, Bellamy realized. They talked about everything and everyone, yet never about Finn or any of Bellamy’s one nightstands.

“You’ve never told me why you decided to go with medicine,” Bellamy asked her out of the blue.

Clarke’s eyebrows arched and he went on, “I know how you love to paint and I thought you’d want to pursue that.”

“I had thought about it for a while, you know, because I couldn’t decide. But in the end it was a really easy decision. I love art, but I didn’t want to turn it into work. I wanted to be able to do it when I felt like it and because I like it and not when and because I had to.”

It made sense and Bellamy just nodded.

Clarke broke up with Finn a month later when his girlfriend Raven came into town and found him in bed with Clarke. The joke was on Finn though because Clarke and Raven became friends and Bellamy finally got to punch Finn.

 

*** February, 2014

 

Finn first tried to get Raven back but when she didn’t want anything to do with him romantically anymore, he went after Clarke. But Clarke had learnt from his betrayal and refused his advances too. In Bellamy’s opinion, Finn was a jerk and an idiot, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t give up. But Clarke ignored him and Bellamy was a little smug about the whole thing.

By then he had learned how to live with his love for Clarke. It never really went away, nor did it lessen. If anything, it only grew stronger. He had thought about making a move a few times, but then decided against it. She still didn’t see him as anything more than a friend and she’s been through too much for Bellamy to add to her problems and confuse her.

Clarke and Bellamy were just taking the pizza out of the over when the doorbell rang. They exchanged a curious look, not having expected anyone, and Clarke went to open the door.

Octavia jumped into her arms, Lincoln standing like a grinning idiot behind her.

“I’m engaged,” she screamed and Clarke hugged her.

Bellamy dropped a plate.

It’s not that he didn’t expect it to happen one day, but not that soon and not when she was still this young. People didn’t get married young these days. He scoffed at her when Octavia ran over and hugged him.

“Oh, be happy for me, jerk,” she said and swapped him on the head.

Clarke threw him a don’t-be-a-dick look and he sighed. _Fine_.

Octavia smiled, Lincoln came in and about half an hour later, his apartment was filled with people. Everyone came over, Monty, Jasper, Nate and Harper, even Raven. The evening quickly turned into a party, more pizza was made, drinks flowed around and music blasted from the speakers. Octavia and Lincoln were ridiculously happy, even Bellamy couldn’t help himself but to be happy for her.

Some were chatting, others were dancing, and Bellamy ignored his sister smooching the giant and just stood on the sidelines observing.

Clarke came up next to him, “He’s good for her,” she told him.

They exchanged a look and Bellamy admitted she was right, “I know. It’s just a weird feeling.”

“You’re overprotective,” the blonde said, smiling at him.

“Whatever you say, princess,” he bumped her shoulder with his.

“Do you ever think about it?” Clarke asked him, more seriously.

“Do I ever think about what?” Bellamy responded although he knew exactly what she meant.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “About marriage and the whole thing. Do you ever want to do it?”

 _Yes_ , he wanted to say, but he didn’t. “I don’t know, sometimes, I guess.” He didn’t know how to talk to her about this. “With the right person it would be a good thing, I reckon.”

“That’s why your bedroom has had a revolving door installed, trying to find the right person. I don’t think it takes a night to find that out, you have to give it a little more time.” Clarke pointed out.

“My bedroom does not have a revolving door,” Bellamy protested.

“Mhmm, sure it doesn’t,” Clarke mocked him.

“It doesn’t,” he pointed out and Clarke just raised her eyebrows. The truth is it had been for a while but he didn’t do it that often anymore and maybe Clarke just hasn’t noticed. Why would she?

“Anyway, what about you?” He needed to turn this around.

“Yeah, I do,” Clarke said firmly, “One day.”

Bellamy just nodded but the way she looked at him, he couldn’t quite figure it out. And he could usually read her like a book. It was sad and hopeful at the same time and he had no idea what it meant.

Clarke just smiled sadly and they kept staring at one another. Bellamy wanted to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and he already moved his hand but was interrupted when Octavia pranced to them, grabbing Clarke and taking her away.

Later, people had fallen asleep all over his place, Jasper and Monty on the floor on some blankets, Raven in an armchair next to them. Nathan was lying on the couch, wrapped in Harper and Octavia and Lincoln took Nate’s room.

Which left Bellamy and Clarke to sleep in his bed. She could have taken the floor but Bellamy would never let her. Besides, they had slept together before, usually on the couch, too tired to move. The night started off with them on separate sides on the bed but when morning came and Bellamy woke up, they were wrapped in each other. Careful not to wake her, he steadied his breathing and just enjoyed the moment. She felt so good, her body fit him perfectly and he tightened his grip a little, not willing to let her go. She was sleeping soundly, turned towards him and he brushed his lips against her forehead, just keeping them there. Clarke sighed contently, which made him smile, but he moved back before she woke. He stroked her cheek lovingly, smoothing her hair, kissing her lightly on the nose and untangled himself from her.

He was fucked.

He didn’t notice, however, that when he walked out of the room to go and start coffee, Clarke opened his eyes and watched him go. She smiled, sadly.

 

*** February, 2015

 

The past year had been interesting, and even though Bellamy had thought there was a moment between him and Clarke on the night O and Lincoln got engaged, nothing changed afterwards. He paid more attention to Clarke and tried to figure out what she was thinking but she was either that good or he had imagined the moment. Maybe he had projected his feelings, who knew.

He had stopped sleeping around completely though. He never got from it what he wanted and even though he had always been honest with the girls, he just didn’t want to do it anymore. He tried dating once or twice during the year, just to prove to Clarke he could do that too, but couldn’t stand it for more than two weeks, so he just ended up pretending.

Clarke had remained single too, but they didn’t manage to spend much time together. She was busy with school and work and he was a police officer now which took up a lot of his time. Miller was his partner and that made things easier. He already trusted him before and you needed to trust your partner on the force.

This year on Valentine’s Day everyone was busy, so it was just the two of them again. Octavia was out with Linc, they were celebrating their first vday as a married couple, Raven was dating Wick and they were probably having a sex marathon, Nathan was about to propose to Harper and Bellamy gave him hell for having to do it on Valentine’s Day. Jasper and Monty were on dates and he honestly didn’t care what Finn was up to.

Bellamy was in a bad mood though because Octavia had been at his place earlier, giving him hell and shouting opinions at him that he didn’t need or want.

“You’re being ridiculous, Bell,” she said, “This has been going on for long enough, do something already.”

How she figured out he was in love with Clarke he didn’t know, but she had and she wasn’t quiet about it. “You want the girl, you’re gonna have to go after her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bellamy brushed her off.

“For fuck’s sake, Bell, stop lying already. I’ve seen you two, I have always seen you. And I know how much you love her, it’s written all over your face every time you look at her when she isn’t looking at you. For the love of god, I can’t understand how she doesn’t see it.”

“She doesn’t see it because there isn’t anything to see,” he protested. Maybe he should have done a better job at hiding it.

“Oh, please. I’ve saw you two at my wedding. That dancing was not platonic, that ship sailed a long time ago. The way you always gravitate to one another, Bell, it’s not just you. She does it too.” Octavia said and when Bellamy looked up quickly they both knew she had him there.

“She does,” he asked quietly and Octavia smiled sadly, if not a little angry.

“She does. So, do something. Put us all out of our misery already,” she hugged him and then left to go get ready for her date.

Bellamy pondered her words but in the end that just led him to be restless, worried, nervous and angry at himself, at Clarke and at the world.

What he didn’t know was that Clarke was having just as a bad day. She got into a fight with her mother again and while their relationship had improved and Clarke had forgiven Abby, she didn’t forget. And Jake’s death was still a wall between them. It didn’t help that Abby often argued with Clarke’s choices and that she pushed her in directions she didn’t want to go.

That day they were arguing about Clarke’s future but Clarke just wouldn’t have it. Abby wanted her to become a cardiologist while Clarke wanted to go into pediatrics. So they yelled, fought and Clarke left Abby’s house in a bad mood.

Abby wasn’t the only person that had annoyed Clarke in the previous week. Octavia was looking at her weirdly and everything she asked her, she just shook her head slightly disappointed. Like she knew something Clarke didn’t.

Which is why it wasn’t surprising that both were irritable when Clarke arrived at Bell’s place. She forgot to go buy ingredients for pizza and Bellamy thought she’d do it so he hadn’t done it either.

“I can’t believe you just automatically assume I’m going do the shopping,” Clarke yelled, not five minutes after she entered his apartment.

“Well, I’m sorry to have assumed that, but you do it every year,” Bellamy groaned and when Clarke just huffed, he added, “You could have called and let me know.”

“You could have checked with me,” she snapped back.

“Well, I didn’t,” he turned around and went into the kitchen. He needed a drink.

“And why are you always leaving your clothes lying around your whole place,” she didn’t stop.

“Last time I checked, this was my place and here I do whatever the hell I want, princess,” Bellamy yelled back now.

“You could have at least cleaned up a little, knowing you’d have company,” Clarke started to pick up his clothes.

“You don’t live here, so you get no say. And put the clothes back,” he ordered her, beyond pissed now.

“No,” she challenged him.

“Clarke,” he warned her, his voice dangerously low.

“What are you gonna do about it, huh?” she spat out, picking up a discarded shirt that smelled so much like him she nearly dropped it.

“I’ll make you,” Bellamy came close, towering above her.

“I’d like to see you try,” Clarke held onto his clothes tightly.

Bellamy moved to take his clothes from her, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Let go,” she said, trying to hold on when she lost her grip on a shirt or two.

“Give it here,” he demanded.

They were acting like five years olds and they both knew it. Bellamy pulled, Clarke lost her balance and crashed into him, which propelled him backwards and his legs hit the coffee table which made him stumble and he started to fall backwards towards the couch. Because they were still both holding the clothes, Clarke was pulled with him and they landed on the couch awkwardly, Clarke on top of him.

They kept staring angrily at each other, when Bellamy couldn’t help it anymore and he laughed. Clarke watched him but really, really wanted to remain angry at him yet seeing the mess they had made, she started laughing too.

Bellamy moved and shoved the clothes to the floor, a clear challenge in his eyes, daring her to say something about it. Instead she just kept laughing and laid her forehead under his chin, supporting herself with her hands on his torso.

They kept laughing for a few minutes before Clarke squirmed and Bellamy groaned and she lifted her head to look at him, _really_ look at him.

There were so many emotions in his eyes, adoration, love, fear and Clarke could see them all. They both stilled and to this day they can’t be sure who made the first move, but in that next moment Bellamy’s hands were in Clarke’s hair and their mouths joined.

He groaned and she sighed while their mouths devoured each other. Bellamy’s tongue grazed her lower lip and she automatically opened her mouth. With the combination of his tongue on hers and his hands on her, Clarke practically melted. She tilted her head and she was lost.

Bellamy flipped them over, his mouth never leaving hers. He settled between her legs, letting her feel what she was doing to him. She moved her hips teasingly and smiled into the kiss. Bellamy’s hands explored her body and his lips trailed down to her neck. He sucked on a particularly tender spot and Clarke gasped, tightening her hold on him. His hands moved under her shirt and Clarke melted. She bucked into him, wanting more, needing his touch and protested when he sat back. But Bellamy pulled her with him, removing her shirt while she quickly returned the favor and then picked her up, carrying her into his bedroom.

He lay her down on his bed, slowly removing her clothes until she was lying there completely naked, flushed. Before he could stop staring at her she sat up and removed his pants and boxers. They tangled on the bed, craving each other, always touching, kissing, exploring and needing, wanting.

The first time was over soon, they were both too far gone to make it last, but the second time – started in the shower, ended on the bed – took a lot longer. It was like they couldn’t get enough and were making up for all the lost time.

A few hours later they were tangled up on his bed, quiet, each lost in their own thoughts, when Clarke’s stomach rumbled. Bellamy laughed and Clarke smacked him on his arm. He pulled her with him, kissing her deeply one more time.

Before they got carried away again, Clarke’s stomach made another noise and Bellamy threw her one of his T-shirts while grabbing on for himself.

He loved the look of her in his clothes. She was smiling at him blushing slightly, when he took her hands and lead her into the living room.

“Maybe we could order in this time,” Bellamy suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Clarke said while looking at the living room, full of clothes, wrinkling her adorable nose. “This is such a mess.” But she laughed.

Bellamy made the call, while Clarke picked up the clothes and threw them in the washing basket. He put in a movie and Clarke snuggled into him while they watched until the food arrived. Bellamy had his arm around Clarke and even though he was watching the TV, he wasn’t paying attention at all. All he could think about was the blonde next to him and what they’d done, what it meant and how ridiculously happy he was in that moment.

He didn’t know it, but Clarke was doing the same.

 

*** February, 2016

 

When Clarke first met Bellamy, she had a developed a ridiculous crush on him. She’d blush every time she saw him, and she fantasized about what those strong hands of his, and his naughty mouth could do to her. He was good looking and she knew it, he was attractive and she felt it in every bone of her body – but when he opened his mouth she wanted to commit murder and bury him somewhere no one would ever find him. _No one._

He was also way out of her league and never spared her a second glance. Clarke worked hard and got over the crush and once they actually become friends, she enjoyed it immensely. So instead of pining after him, she focused on their friendship.

As the years went by Clarke realized she loved Bellamy, although she wasn’t in love with him anymore. But he had always been there for her, he knew her better than anyone else had, he thought remarkably like her and he supported her in everything, no questions asked. When her dad died, Bellamy was her rock and she realized he was one of the most important people in her live.

She wasn’t sure why it bothered her that Bellamy slept around. He was free to do so and she didn’t mind, not really, but whenever she knew someone spent the night, she felt a pang in her chest. She tried to love Finn, and maybe for a while she did, but then he ruined it and it was over. A part of her felt relieved.

About a month before Octavia got engaged, Clarke was in a store, when she saw Bellamy and Miller outside, both in their uniforms. She smiled and tried to hurry up so she’d catch them when an old lady next to her asked her, “Which one is yours?”

Clarke was startled. ”I’m sorry, what?”

“The two police officers outside,” the woman clarified. “You are smiling and looking at them like I used to look at my husband, rest his poor soul. And I’m trying to figure out which one is yours.”

Clarke didn’t know what to think. She looked at the old woman and then back outside. Bellamy was smoking hot in that uniform and she couldn’t turn her eyes away. Without thinking too much about it, she returned her gaze to the woman, “The one on the left.”

The lady’s eyes sparked, “Good choice.”

It was the moment in which Clarke realized she was doomed.

The engagement followed soon after and they shared a little moment but the year that followed was pure torture. Clarke was always at war with herself, trying to decide whether she should leave things as they were and stay friends or whether to take a chance and risk it all. She didn’t have good relationship experience and Bellamy didn’t do relationships at all, so she dragged it out. It hadn’t been easy though, seeing him, spending time with him, wanting to touch him but couldn’t. It drove her crazy.

Until the day he pissed her off again, although it wasn’t really his fault, she only needed to take some frustration her mother had caused out on someone. And Bellamy ended up being that someone. But yelling and anger turned into laughter which turned into kissing that turned into hot sex and hot sex _then_ turned into a relationship.

They didn’t talk about it that night, just spent it together, wrapped in each other. After ordering and consuming the pizza, they tried watching a movie but couldn’t keep their hands off each other so they just gave up pretending.

When they woke up the next morning, Clarke saw Bellamy was waiting for her to react and say everything had been a mistake and she honestly wanted to slap him. Instead she rolled her eyes, “You’re an idiot.” And then she kissed him.

They talked later over lunch, and decided they wanted to give it a try. Clarke tried to be calm and rational but she was doing cartwheels on the inside and when Bellamy smiled at her and she saw how happy he was, she thought her heart would jump out of her ribcage.

What really sealed the deal was when Clarke nervously asked him about relationships, explaining she knew him and knew he didn’t do them. Bellamy just looked at her and shrugged, “I didn’t see the point trying, when I knew I only wanted to be in one relationship.” Too moved to say anything, Clarke just kissed him and held onto to him tightly.

They didn’t make any special announcement. Octavia found out when she came over one day unannounced and walked into then making out on the couch, Clarke sprawled all over Bellamy. She cheered and then smacked her brother on the head, “Took you long enough.”

The rest found out on a movie night they did. They were all waiting already in front on the movie theater, when Octavia and Lincoln walked up hand in hand, followed by Bellamy with his arm around Clarke’s shoulders and Clarke’s around his waist. They stared for a moment in complete silence, they just started talking again (except for Jasper, he kept staring at them throughout the whole evening).

This year, when Valentine’s Day came around, Clarke did the shopping and went back to Bell’s place. It wasn’t a date, it was their tradition and they stuck with it.

She entered the apartment, not seeing Bellamy anywhere. She took the stuff into the kitchen and started to unpack.

She was happy. Bellamy was doing great at work, she loved her job, all their friends were in a good place and they were happy. They fought, they yelled and argued but they were closer than ever and they were happy together. It was exciting, it was passionate and it was right.

She smiled contently when she felt her arms around her and leaned back into him. “I bought groceries,” she said.

“I guess I better start working on the dough then,” he smiled into her hair and kissed her head.

“Mhmm,” she answered, but neither moved.

“First things first,” Bellamy spun her around and sat her on the counter. She yelped but crossed her ankles behind him automatically, pulling him closer into her. He kissed her then, properly, running his hands over her back and into her hair.

After a few minutes he pulled back. “To be continued,” he said and Clarke nodded, flustered, her eyes focused on his swollen lips, her hands still under his shirt on his hips.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Bellamy groaned and pulled her back into another kiss.

They managed to make the pizza, watch Die Hard and then tested out some furniture in the living room. Clarke had to give it to him, his furniture was _very_ sturdy.

When she was half asleep already, nestled into his arms, Bellamy lifted himself up a little and looked at the clock.

“What are you doing,” she asked groggily, nestling her head into the crook of his neck.

“Looking at the time,” he answered.

“Why?” Clarke was confused.

“To see what time it is,” he chuckled. She pinched him.

“Ouch. What did you do that for?”

“Cause you’re an ass,” she laughed.

He ignored her; his only response was a snort. “It’s past midnight.”

“So?” Clarke didn’t know what he was playing at.

“It’s not Valentine’s Day anymore. This means I can ask you something now, because I didn’t want to do it on Valentine’s Day.”

Clarke opened her eyes, sleepy yet curious, “Yes?”

“Move in with me,” he said, playing with a strand of her hair.

“You know I’m basically living her already, right?” Clarke teased, but her heart was beating wildly. “I have a key and everything.”

“Technicalities. Let’s make it official though,” he prompted. “What do you say?”

“Okay,” Clarke answered, and was rewarded with a deep kiss. “But let’s celebrate in the morning because I’m beat.”

“Whatever you want, princess,” Bellamy chuckled, and wrapped her securely into his arms, closing his eyes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Let me know. :) And if you feel so inclined, you can always look me up on tumblr under realynn8.


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